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My mother was incarcerated. My father was incarcerated. My mother did not graduate from high school. My father did not graduate from high school. These factors may cause some to believe I did not have good parents. However, I had tremendous parents who were great models. I feel good parents produce good people. My parents wanted better for me and sacrificed to ensure that happened.
As an educator, I have worked with thousands of young people for over twenty years. Good parenting is the number one factor in a child's success or lack of success. The problem is we have many definitions of what good parenting looks like. I know parents who consider themselves good parents, and they smoke marijuana with their children, others drink alcohol with them, some use profanity in their daily conversations with their underage children, while others include their children in their inappropriate dating relationships. I am not talking about these parenting issues; I will list seven factors that shape good parenting.
When these seven factors are consistently modeled in front of children, th ey become productive citizens who add value to society and don't break the law.
1. Positive Support System- Good parents support their children and surround them with others that will also support them. Good parents try to keep negative role models away from their children.
2. Physical Health- When you see a child with dirty clothes on, socks that don't match, a face that has not been cleaned, hair not kept, scrapes not treated, and an appearance not presentable, you question if the child has good parents. Children with asthma often come from homes of smokers. This affects a child's physical health.
3. Social Skills- When you are in Walmart and hear mean or unprofessional language from another customer, do you think "their parents must be proud?" I think their parents probably talked the same way. Knowing how to speak in public is important and respectful. Knowing how to shake someone's hand, look them in the eye, properly wear their clothes, and have proper distance when talking to people in a social setting.
4. Financial Stability - When middle school students have bad grades and discipline referrals, they have to decide to change. If they do not, these issues will be magnified when they go to high school. This will make it difficult for them to have a good job with good benefits which will help them become good parents. Children are expensive. Before we mention travel ball, field trips, video games, and cell phones, we must talk about diapers, childcare, medicine, and transportation. It takes finances to be a good parent.
5. Mental Health - This starts with confidence in reading, yes, reading. Reading can help build high self-esteem. If children are confident in reading at a young age, it helps them navigate life confidently. Depression, stress, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts occur when we don't know how to respond to tragedy, trauma, adversity, or life changes. Self-esteem builds confidence which can help our mental health.
6. Emotional Health - Good parents teach children how to deal with emotions properly. Some parents say boys don't cry or tell girls they are too pretty to cry. How will we know the proper or appropriate way to deal with our emotions if no one shows us? Emotionally healthy people make more good choices than emotionally unhealthy people. Until age twenty-five, most of our brain's frontal lobe has not been developed. The frontal lobe is part of the brain that makes rational decisions.
7. Faith - One key factor in good parenting is raising children with hope in a higher power. Many young people do not respect authority and lack empathy. One reason for this is bad models. If you watch late-night tv hosts, they often make fun of the sitting President of the United States. There is no reference or respect. Why should children respect others, have hope, and should young people treat others kindly? Faith comes equipped with morals, standards, and ethics.
More is caught than taught. The behavior we model is more important than the words we say.
Now Hiring is a weekly article written by highly sought-after author and public speaker Willie Spears. Willie has written fourteen books and travels around the country adding value to the lives of others through his books and dynamic presentations. Learn more at www.WillieSpears.com
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